


The Lonely Hour

by anemic_cinema



Series: May Masturbation Challenge [11]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Internalized Homophobia, Loneliness, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 08:55:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1599047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: No queers after the zombie apocalypse? I don't think so. Takes place before the events of World's End Boyfriend. </p><p>Daryl finds relief where he can get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lonely Hour

“That'll be $12.99.” 

Daryl hands the clerk a twenty. The clerk hands him his change and his magazine in a plain paper bag. He smiles at the worn out man standing in front of the counter, as if he's trying to say that it's ok for Daryl to come in here and buy gay porn. That it's nothing to be ashamed of.

The redneck hates this stranger for even trying. He doesn't see why this man should care either way. 

He jams the cash in his pocket and gets out of there fast. He won't come back here again. He'll just have to find somewhere else where he can buy magazines like this. There aren't a lot of places though. Everything is online now. Daryl doesn't have a computer, and even if he did, there's no way he'd risk it. Not when Merle might catch him. If he saw that Daryl jerked off to this kind of thing...Daryl is actually a little scared of what might happen. Hell he's a little scared right now, and he's an hour and a half away from home. 

Daryl drives off from the sex shop parking lot. Night's falling good and early since it's wintertime, and he saw an abandoned lot on his way there. He finds his way back, and parks his truck by the gates. There isn't a lot of traffic, and the street lamps flicker on and off periodically.

He takes out the magazine. He's done this so many times, but each time that he looks inside it gives him a thrill like it's the first time he's seen this kind of stuff. Naked men. Some muscular, some slender. Some hairy, some not. All of them fucking each other in pairs or threes or more. 

He flips through the pages with one hand. The other's between his legs, trying to speed things up. He has to be fast. Merle doesn't know why he heads out like this. The one time he asked Daryl told him he was meeting some girl. Lying to his brother is second nature to him. 

The pages are glossy and are hard to turn with just one hand. He finds a set of images that stops his hand from turning the page. Two men, laying down on their sides like they're spooning each other. Except one has his dick deep inside the other man's ass, and is holding him with one arm around his chest and a hand around his dick. They're kissing. Daryl keeps looking at that part of the pictures. The way their lips fit together is what makes him hard. The man being fucked has his lips over the other man's bottom lip, and it looks so natural. Like there's nothing wrong with it. 

Daryl has his cock out now, staring at the magazine propped up against the steering wheel while he strokes himself fast. He has to spit in his hand to keep the friction from hurting. His eyes focus on the pictures and he tries not to let his mind wander to thoughts of him in the same situations presented in the magazine. Getting fucked by a man, or fucking another man. Being kissed hard and his body being grabbed harder. Or maybe it's not like that at all. Maybe it can be gentle, all soft caresses and slow movement, bodies gliding over each other instead of slamming into each other.

Daryl doesn't let himself think about any of that, or at least tries not to. It's hard to ignore those thoughts when they're constantly in the back of your mind, and constantly making you afraid..

The only thing he lets himself have is looking at the magazine. Looking at the men fucking each other and looking so goddamn happy about it that it hurts.

He has it down to a science. He makes himself cum, cleans up, tosses the tissue out the window, and, without a second glance, tosses the magazine too along with the bag. If you use cash sometimes they won't bother giving you a receipt. That's good, less evidence the could turn up later. Once Daryl found a subscription ad from an old magazine he'd bough stuck under the front seat of his truck and almost had a heart attack. He burned it. It was safer that way. 

The radio's on as he drives home, but he doesn't really hear it. His mind's too focused on the kiss and everything it makes him want and wish for. By the time he's driving into the trailer park where he lives with Merle any good feelings from the orgasm have been left far behind on the highway. Now it's just fear and a gnawing sadness that doesn't let go. Daryl figures that's the way it is, that all of the hours of his life will be lonely, and that it'll be this way forever. 

Soon everything will change, and he'll be proved wrong.


End file.
